Making future choices for our children today – I love our school and here is why…

There are many decisions a parent has to take on behalf of their children. At times, we are torn between one or the other. As Christians, however, there is one thing we should not wonder about – that is the core of what our children should learn while they are young. We need to ask ourselves what it is we want them to leave with as they fly out from under the protective shade of our wings?

Think – the answer to that is not difficult. The best heirloom we can give them is for them to be grounded in the Christian faith. Why? Well, first of all, I believe that scripture teaches us that we should do so. Secondly, as we look at the world around us, full of incredibly fast change, choice on end and ever increasing sidelining of Christians, we should want them to be equipped and ready.

This post is for you and I – no exception

picture by Jeff Boriss, Creationswap

Do you hand Gossip to God? Or do you join in or worry about it? The burden of gossip can be heavy. As a pastor’s wife, I often find myself both right in the heart of what is going on as well as left on the outside. It is normal. On the one hand people share their concerns with my husband and I, both serious concerns as well as those that flourish at the hands of idle talk. Other times, we are the focus of this idle talk. It can be quite unsettling and very tempting – to join in.

All of us, no matter what walk of life we are from are confronted with gossip again and again and we engage in gossip again and again. Not one of us can truly say that we are the exception. We engage in “idle talk or rumour, especially about personal or private affairs of others (see dictionary.com definition of gossip).

When we are involved in gossip, however, several things happen:

The person we are gossiping about is not uplifted and we have no intention of helping them in the first place. Our talk is meant to make us feel better about ourselves. That is the true intention. Because “if they are worse than I, I am better..”.(see the logical lie? ) However, we are not uplifted at all and we engage yet in more gossip and slander. And those we are sharing our “deep thoughts about others” with – also are not uplifted.

In fact, it always leaves a bitter taste. A taste of betrayal and, it makes us wonder what others might say about us. It leaves us entangled in a web of lies, half-truths and insecurities and makes us feel incredibly uncomfortable.

In ministry there are, in deed times, when we need to discuss issues of concern regarding members of our ministry or congregation. This, however, should only be done with the distinct aim to help and support them and for the good of those effected by their behaviour.

The bible teaches us that those who gossip cannot be considered as trustworthy and ultimately are at risk of separating friends – this refers to others who are friends, but we are also at risk of losing our own friends as a result.

Proverbs 11:13: He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Proverbs 16:28: A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.

James 4:11: Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge of it.

God, instead encourages us to encourage one another, focus on the pure and lovely things others do,  “that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Today, I handed my knowledge of gossip around me to God and he lifted my burden. I also know that I, too, fall prey to this favourite pastime, so I come before the Lord Jesus in faith that He would protect me from temptation and to cleanse me from sin. I have on average 12 hours a day I can fill with words and thoughts – good words or damming words, good thoughts or destructive thoughts. I know what I want to choose and I know that I can call on the Lord to help me when I stumble.  Will you join me in uplifting those around us and dwelling on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise (Ephesians 4:29)?

Our Traditions – heirlooms of faith (Christmas)

Holly from the Garden

In our home, we love traditions. It is not that we ever set out to do so, but rather something we have grown to cherish. Our children expect certain traditions at certain times throughout the year, without fail – particularly at Christmas. As my husband and I remind our children that Christmas is nearing, we can hear them saying: “Mummy, can you buy long matches so we can help light the candles?” “We are helping choose the tree…and I and Daddy will carry it – like always!”

Christmas is an ideal time to create traditions together. It is a time for teaching, learning and growing together as we contemplate the significance of Christ’s birth.

When The Lord tells us in Deuteronomy 6:4-9: …

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

…we are called to make the every day going-ins and going-outs into opportunities to live out or love for God and through this teach our children. This is where our traditions play an important role.

Do we have a Christmas tree like most others but never explain why? Our oldest will tell you that we have a tree because it reminds us that Christ Jesus hung on a tree to die for us. Is that where the idea of the Christmas tree originated? No. But we choose to use this item of Christmas decor to remind ourselves that as Christ came into the world, He did so to die – for us. The ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate gift.

We are a third and fourth culture family with a mixture of American, British and other European influences. Our traditions result from a mish-mash of different cultures. Our main aim, however, is not to embody one culture more than another but rather to embrace the culture Christ is growing us into, that is the Family of God. So, if you were to watch us, you would see a very imperfect group of people, still growing, still learning … But one that tries to get stronger every year at loving The Lord with all our heart, soul and might.

We do so, also by opening our home to friends and strangers over Christmas. In the run-up to Christmas Day our house is a busy coming and going and finds its climax, so to speak, on Christmas Eve, when we invite about twenty to thirty people to our home for a simple but fun meal of soup and bread ( reminding us of the humble surroundings in which our Lord was born). Others bring snacks and goodies. We watch Mr. Bean Christmas – as the kids ( well, all really) cannot get enough of seeing Mr. Bean stick his head in the turkey…Then, with the help of some wonderfully musical friends, three generations of people sing Christmas Carols together – including “12 days of Christmas”, which we act out one by one as far as we manage between the bouts of laughter the individual acting evokes and most importantly some beautiful Christian carols. We then play a number if games, such as Sherades.

Everyone joining in for games…

Finally, we go to a midnight candle-light service in town – celebrating the coming of our King!

In a setting such as ours, where many of us are not in our home country and family far away, we are blessed to have a family of friends who help us keep this tradition alive.

At the same time, our children learn to be part of a generational mix and to join in with all ages. We are thankful that those who are already grandparents take the time to be with us and lead us, as many of us cannot celebrate Christmas in the “traditional” wider family setting. And I wonder if they realise how precious it is to have them be with us? Older generations have much to share in terms of tradition and I, for one, would love for them to share more.

Snoman Cheeseball

Daddy;s stocking (makes music!)

Our traditions develop over time, our reason for them, however, should not. There is a reason why ancient Jewish traditions are still alive today. It is not a result of haphazard circumstances, but an understanding of the importance of deliberate passing on of our faith through action, symbols and repetition.

Far too often, as modern evangelical Christians, with a desire to be ‘contemporary’, we tend to water things down and lose sight of the treasure that is to be found in the traditions of our Christian ancestors.

As in Deuteronomy, our lives should be filled with worship to God – in all things. Whatever your traditions at Christmas, or indeed throughout the year, make them Christ-centred and embrace family – be it your own family or the one God brings in the setting you are in. It is through family, our traditions and our continued walk in fellowship that we can impact the generations to come.

Let our traditions be an heirloom filled with Christ to the the generations who follow us.

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