picture by Jeff Boriss, Creationswap
Do you hand Gossip to God? Or do you join in or worry about it? The burden of gossip can be heavy. As a pastor’s wife, I often find myself both right in the heart of what is going on as well as left on the outside. It is normal. On the one hand people share their concerns with my husband and I, both serious concerns as well as those that flourish at the hands of idle talk. Other times, we are the focus of this idle talk. It can be quite unsettling and very tempting – to join in.
All of us, no matter what walk of life we are from are confronted with gossip again and again and we engage in gossip again and again. Not one of us can truly say that we are the exception. We engage in “idle talk or rumour, especially about personal or private affairs of others (see dictionary.com definition of gossip).
When we are involved in gossip, however, several things happen:
The person we are gossiping about is not uplifted and we have no intention of helping them in the first place. Our talk is meant to make us feel better about ourselves. That is the true intention. Because “if they are worse than I, I am better..”.(see the logical lie? ) However, we are not uplifted at all and we engage yet in more gossip and slander. And those we are sharing our “deep thoughts about others” with – also are not uplifted.
In fact, it always leaves a bitter taste. A taste of betrayal and, it makes us wonder what others might say about us. It leaves us entangled in a web of lies, half-truths and insecurities and makes us feel incredibly uncomfortable.
In ministry there are, in deed times, when we need to discuss issues of concern regarding members of our ministry or congregation. This, however, should only be done with the distinct aim to help and support them and for the good of those effected by their behaviour.
The bible teaches us that those who gossip cannot be considered as trustworthy and ultimately are at risk of separating friends – this refers to others who are friends, but we are also at risk of losing our own friends as a result.
Proverbs 11:13: He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.
Proverbs 16:28: A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
James 4:11: Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge of it.
God, instead encourages us to encourage one another, focus on the pure and lovely things others do, “that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Today, I handed my knowledge of gossip around me to God and he lifted my burden. I also know that I, too, fall prey to this favourite pastime, so I come before the Lord Jesus in faith that He would protect me from temptation and to cleanse me from sin. I have on average 12 hours a day I can fill with words and thoughts – good words or damming words, good thoughts or destructive thoughts. I know what I want to choose and I know that I can call on the Lord to help me when I stumble. Will you join me in uplifting those around us and dwelling on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise (Ephesians 4:29)?
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